So a brief edit needs to be made here
1- because I learned my blog is actually being read (yay and thank you!) and
2- there's alot less dining out happening!
My pointless ramblings, attempts at creative writing, and mental diarrhea will be posted more regularly than every 3 months... and in sticking with the title and theme of this blog, there will be some whining, but not exclusively. I'll save most of that for my real-and-not-cyberspace friends! I'd hate to lose my charm.
Isn't it ironic (cue Alanis Morissette) that the act of creative writing can actually help destruct, disarm and elucidate bigger and invisible "things"- oh like feelings, paranoias, compulsions or dreams; the real and the imagined? Yes, and I like the idea of a hobby that is mostly constructive. How novel. And I like the idea of destructing things; real or imagined, that won't hurt anyone. I like the idea of not hurting people in general, and anyways I like the idea of destructing creatively or creating (destruction) with images and words. Noun and verb and adverb interchanges- exotic! Let's remember that neither destruction nor creation have to equal destroying but there is usually some kind of collateral damage involved in either process. Hurting and pain are subjective after all. You digg? Justification.
And maybe something that I type will spur someone onto another creative endeavor...I'm thinking the Butterfly Effect with words and thoughts (not breezes from lepidoptera (nod to Dr. Williams)). It's almost invisible at first! But while we're talking about butterflies let's think about molting and growing and irreversible processes like chemical v. physical changes. Remember those stupid examples in grade school? What is baking a cake? What is forming ice from water? What is blah blah blah? (chemical and physical respectively)
So if I am destructing/breaking myself down/changing my understanding of things and myself and other people, who's changing? WHAT's changing? Me? Only me? My brain chemistry? My understanding of my surroundings and myself and my interactions with these things? What is real (cue the skin horse)? Let's shine a flashlight up in this cave Plato. Aaagh! Is this an irreversible process? Will I hurt anyone? Will I destroy anyone? I don't want to do that. Will I make a change? What will the change be? I'm starting with the man in the mirror (cue MJ). Will any of me get destroyed? These questions are hard to contain in one posting within a 2x4 box of 12 pt Times font for now. But I want to know and I want to understand and I want to create and I want to grow! And I can't wait another minute.
Are you excited and still reading, or not?! Now, when I talk about growth and development I am not constraining this to a linear type of growth. Much like I don't believe the definition of "evolution" is exclusively linear. It just can't be. And like the irony I first started with at the beginning of this post, sometimes progress requires or is synonymous with regression...it all depends on how you define the terms of the game. Change and changing are definites though. Hurting and pain don't have to be.
You can see how I've kept therapists employed, won friends, and entertained strangers with this type of thinking?
Ok, that's enough for now. But I'm back with a bit of pizazz and it feels good. Look out Stella, I'm gettin' my groove back.