Teas for Fears? not really...

So, on my drive to work Monday I started crying.  Side note: I think my dad cries in his car while driving too.  Having never met him but being somehow related, I can only guess that Blackbeard must have cried alot while steering his ship.  That's to Blackbeard, not my dad...I grew up with him and well, we're so dysfunctional of course we're related.  Years ago I would hold back my tears at all costs.  But after I became preggo the hormone insurgence must have flipped a switch that -even though baby G is now 16 months old- hasn't turned off.  Or maybe I'm just ok with crying now.  My most hilarious preggo memory was eating a BOX of gooey-centered chocolates from AJ's while listening to Kenny Chesney's "Better As  a Memory" while driving west on Sunrise and CRYING.  Hilarious!

I digress.  I realized while turning onto River Road that I had cried like twice in 12 frappin' hours.  Here's the first reason.  It's 10 minutes and a little schmaltzy with Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey or whoever but get to the part where THE.DAD.CRIES.  Warm, salty cartoon-shaped tears were dripping off of my cheeks.  Beautiful.  And motivating.  The dad is like 66!!!

http://www.sportsfeelgoodstories.com/2009/01/29/team-hoyt-an-inspirational-father-son-story-for-the-ages/

Second reason, this song in acoustic by Peter Tosh:  Jah Guide.
Well crap, I can't find a link to the version I want but if you're interested go to iTunes and search for it.  Haunting.  Warming.  Comforting.  I can feel his voice resonate the molecules of my soul into some kind of better-version-of-myself...at least I like to imagine so.  That's why I cried.  It's kind of uplifiting and empowering.  Who can't use that?  Admittedly I had to look up the lyrics to hear WTF he was saying but this too -along with Ms. Spears and 311- is in my to 40 most played.  I.love.this.song!  It reminds me that we are not alone and parallels Psalm 23 I think.  I had to memorize that Bible verse in Mrs. Sebren's 3rd grade class, yes really.  The really fancy version too where you have to say "thou".  What a kick!

Dream Haiku

When Coyotes Sing

Little Girls Laugh in my Dreams

Nightime Wonderland

One Eyed Turkey

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  When I saw this craft that my daughter had done in childcare I thought "Wait a minute...this is DIRTY".  You can look it up yourself pervs!  ;P

Detox Haiku; Dream Haiku

The girl of your dreams
Would like to stay in your dreams
You are not in mine

Like Pancakes in a Teacup

I don't have a photo for this yet *you're welcome* but let me paint you a picture dear reader.  Once you've breastfed (at least) one baby and you get back to your "NORMAL" weight- whatever in the world that is, your boobs are deflated.  DE-FLATED.  And sad.  And droopy.  And ironically, sometimes they are left feeling somewhat useless.  Note: I said SOMEWHAT.  Holy shrinkedness!  Maybe not necessarily National Geographic "primal nudity" bad,  but they aren't as perky as they used to be or as full or as SEXY.  There's no help to be had from a push up bra or wonder bra or mega double decker self inflating solar powered amazing bra.  The image that came to mind was trying to load a pancake into a teacup.  You dig?  Is it full?  Cute?  Perky?  Round?  Or. just.sad.

Yup.  Sigh.

Checklist before summer:
boob job
tattoo

You knew I was a redneck right?  I do still have all of my teeth thank you.

Kale Boy

In the South for good luck, tradition, and fun on New Years you're supposed to cook greens and black eyed peas.  This year here in Tucson  I made red beans and rice and KALE.  Actual KALE.  Yes really.  When I was shopping at Walmart it beckoned me over to the fresh produce aisle.  "Psst pssst look at me here!  Look how healthy and cute I am with my curly edges.  Look how luscious and dark green I am even under this horrible lighting and lame, artificial thunderstorms.  Please please take me home with you.  I want to feed you.  Give me a  home, just for a night, with YOU.  Please!"  It didn't actually say that and no I wasn't actually thinking that either but just now it seemed funny if it had said that; like in a zen-plants-have-feelings-too-kind-of-way.  If that were the case I'd only surround myself with plants that were smart AND flattering.  I digress.  Nonsense!

What I really thought was 'I am somewhat superstitious and I could use some cash-mo-nay this year so why not...but ugh...cooking kale...blecgh.'  The only greens I knew growing up were overcooked, brown, bitter and tough.  Justification was that's the only way to make them tender and edible. They made the entire kitchen smell in a way that caused me to frown instantly.  Only the seniors with wrinkle-y lips, ridged nails and a 2-day-old blowout would eat them dripping with vinegar.   No desire to replicate that esp. since I didn't have any pork pieces or bacon and no I didn't want to buy any for this one dish.  And I didn't want to babysit anything but my own progeny on that holiday so that excluded slaving over a hot stove on New Years Day.

So why did I buy Kale Boy?  Because I did have some salami at home and I did buy some garlic!  So then I also remembered my dad, from Eastern Carolina, saying that greens are best after the first frost.  I hypothesized that the freeze destroyed the cell walls or something important like that-since I am a scientist you know- and so I *gently* placed the head of kale IN.THE.FREEZER.  HA!  Card-Carrying Sensible-Southerner here yes m'am!  And whaddyaknow?  The next day I melted some butter, sliced the whole head of garlic and added about 3 pieces of salami to a skillet.  When the garlic was fragrant I put the whole frozen head of kale in and covered it 1/2 way with water.  I let that boy cook, covered, for about an hour on gentle heat and it was magic in my mouth.  My soul felt warm and happy.   Here are some pix.

Icy kale amidst shredded cheese

Frozen kale steaming away

Once Bitten Twice Shy

Or, Love Bites, Love Bleeds...but this post is about neither of these songs really.

So, you'll remember this August I was stung twice in my sleep by a scorpion:
http://diningandwhiningtucson.blogspot.com/2009_08_01_archive.html

And so what's biting around here in the DESERT in the WINTER you ask?  Don't worry, they will find me:

That's my pasty back EXCEPT for the SIX SPIDER BITES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  We were skyping with my family and I was sitting on the couch by a nice warm fire and yes my clothes were on thank you and my back started itching horribly.  I ignored it until the next morning when ta-freakin-da these nasties showed up.  Heinous!

I wonder what it means.

Here are my guesses:

1) I'm pretty tasty arachnid bait

2) we live in the boondocks

3) this house is a stye!

4) 2 and 3

Wonder what will bite me next...post your guesses.